No video today

In previous weeks, Thursday has been a day for posting a new video.

I haven't made one this week. Making a video requires time and thinking about feelings. I'm trying to avoid both of those things. I meet people and schedule things with friends and then fill the gaps with anything and everything so that I don't have a spare moment to think about how I'm feeling.

It seems to be working. I made it through most of yesterday before I completely broke down.

I'm not letting myself mope, because once I start, I will hide under my duvet forever and only emerge to get more food.

Over the past few days, I've eaten quite a bit more than I should, and mostly sweets and fatty foods, but I've not had a real binge. That's probably something to do with not giving myself time. If I'm constantly doing things, there's physically not enough time to have a real binge.

It's still taking a huge amount of control to even maintain an illusion of holding it together.